Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Miracles, Numbers, and Asteroids...

As most of you know. I like to ask questions. I don't ask them to upset people. I don't ask them to make people feel incompetent. I simply ask them because I like to hear opinions that help lead me to an answer that makes sense to me.

That being said.

I have recently been faced with a dilemma that has hit me on a personal level. When I say "hit me on a personal level" I mean, "hit me" from several different angles. So, when a certain situation arose, I immediately started asking questions hoping to find an answer.

Here, let me fill you in on my situation and maybe you'll be able to see where I'm coming from.

As you may know by now, our 15 year old daughter (I'll go ahead and call her my step daughter for those of you to see the bigger picture, but to me, she is my daughter) is going in for spinal surgery on March 1st of this new year. She has scoliosis and it has become very bad over the past year. After taking her to a specialist a few weeks ago, she then went for an MRI last week, and finally now have spoken with all of her doctors and have a series of several medical visits which include her giving blood for the operation as well as other tests and examinations prepping her for the surgery.

Okay, so, it's hard for me to type some of this because my damned eyes keep filling with watery stuff. I love this girl so much. She is an angel on earth. She has had a hard enough life as it is with her processing disorder, and had conquered it and other obstacles while at the same time becoming an incredible artist and writer. Yes. I am proud of her. I am also definitely terrified of her having to go through this surgery to the point that I'm having trouble sleeping every night. Shes a tough girl too. She comes to me and talks with me about the surgery. At first I thought she was doing that because she had questions, but now I'm pretty sure she does it because she knows that I'm nervous about the operation.

Backing up and giving you my perspective on my religious views. I am a Christian. I am quite a unique Christian though. I believe a lot of things that anger and piss off other Christians. Again, its my questions that make everyone on edge. In my book; God is Almighty. That is it. Period.

Almighty.

Think about that one for a second.

Okay, so an Almighty God can do anything. Be anything. Know anything... and Anything anything. It is not for us to try and think like God. We can't. It's impossible. We are human. He is not. That is the end of that discussion as far as I'm concerned. If you would like to debate that with me, please choose another venue other than my blog. Thank you. :)

I also believe that God is and can do anything to help us out here on earth. If we are sick, our loved ones pray over us. Some of us have seen miracles take place. Yes. Miracles. I have seen miracles too. I love that our God sometimes will allow these miracles to take place to help instill faith in our hearts. It is truly an important part of the cycle. I am glad that miracles don't happen all of the time. I know, that sounds terrible. Doesn't it? But I am.

Why?

It's simple. We are selfish. If God allowed for these amazing miracles to happen all of the time through the same venue each time, we would expect it. It's true, and you cannot deny that. You would expect it as much as you expect there to be food at the grocery store, or as much as you expect two plus two to equal four. If it didn't happen, we would all lose faith in God, and call him names and be angry with him because our miracle didn't happen. Some of us go through this anyway. So... We are selfish.

So, here is the dilemma.

Anna Marie's ex is now a healer. Yes. He heals people with the power of God. He touches them and prays over them and their cancer, tumors, and physical ailments leave their body and are gone forever. What does this have to do with me?

Our 15 year old daughter came up to me and told me that her Dad heals people and has healed over 200 people that have had cancer and other ailments. He took her to lunch after her MRI and told her that he wanted to lay hands on her and heal her back. He even spoke with Anna Marie about it and asked her if she would support her in his decision to do this.

Our 15 year old asked me what I thought. That's pretty impressive. She wanted to know what her step-dude thought (smiling). I told her that anything is worth a try and that sometimes God performs miracles. But I also told her that I believe that God put's a lot into us as His people and wants us to be able to take care of ourselves, and so I believe that God works through our doctors and vets as well. She told me that her Dad had two questions that he asked people before trying to heal them.

1) Do you believe that you can be healed? Because if you don't, it won't work.

She couldn't remember the second question, but that first one was enough for me to scratch my head and ask myself.

Is this a fair thing to put on a 15 year old girl who has a severe medical condition and is needing surgery.

"If you don't believe, then its your fault?" (paraphrasing of course)

I'll be honest. And this in no way is a negative remark against anyone that is Christian. But I think that is one of the most horrible things you can put on a child that knows that they need something done that is so scary and dangerous yet to be told that their Dad heals hundreds of people, but if you do not believe then its not his fault or even God's fault, but its hers.

I apologize for even going here. But it has been really upsetting me lately. I know that the kids just got back from their Dad's house and they all seem fine, so I guess the laying of the hands took place and the praying will continue, but I pray to the God that I love and respect that he never tell's her it didn't work because she didn't have faith or has let God down.

I'm honestly not sure what I would do if I heard him say that to her.

RAWK!

7 comments:

le critique said...

*sigh*

I won't even start. Or maybe I'll go rant over in my blog. But either way, we are raising one very smart, common sense girl. She's learning to ask questions too, and after a couple of days of processing, she'll figure it all out. She always does.

Amber said...

I'm glad she has you and Anna Marie there for her. It's a tough thing for a 15 yr old to handle much less say if you don't believe it won't work. I too am a unique christian :)
God is not at our beck and call either.
A great story i read while dealing with some of my issues on the loss of my brother that helped me i'd like to share. Bascially the author was talking about taking his toddler son to the doctor. He had a really bad ear infection i believe and the solution was to go into his ear and manually remove some of the infection. The child was scared, and screaming because it hurt but it had to be done for him to be better. The author tells how he was holding his son and in the room there is one of those mirrors so he could see his son looking at him. He swears his eyes were pleading why is this happening? Whay are you letting this man hurt me? Your suppose to be protecting me?
The father/author knew it had to be done so his son could heal and be better but he had no way of communicating this to his screaming child.

The point I got was we can't always see the bigger picture. We as humans can't try to comprehend why something happens to us or those we love, sometimes we have to leave in God's hands. Sometimes we may never know the answer in this lifetime.

I know i prayed for a miracle for my brother to beat his cancer. When he was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer he was given 6 months. He lived 4 1/2 years after that diagnosis.
I realize now he just wasn't meant to stay here. However i think the gift/miracle from God wasn't that he would be healed but the fact that we got to have him as long as we did. He was able to make it to meet both of my daughters and that means more than anything to me.

Your daughter is a strong girl. I hope she doesn't let this trial in her young life rock her beliefs.
Your in our thoughts!
-Amber

Joyce said...

This "dad" has just lost his mind. Who puts that kind of responsibility on a 15 year old? They are given to us to love and guide. We do the best we can. How dare this man give this beautiful angel such a burden. If his "healing" doesn't work will she beat herself up because she believes she doesn't have enough faith? I believe you are more of a father to her than he ever will be. You surely are one she trusts and comes to with her questions. God put you and Anna Marie together for a reason. Yes, you do love each other, but I am sure he knew that these children, especially this girl, would need a special person to give them strength, unconditional love and the right guidance. He knew that you were this person. I will put your daughter, in fact your whole family, in my prayers and hold them in my heart. Hang in there, dad, you are their rock!! The love in this family is so evident in every way.

ghostrawk said...

You guys have no idea how much it means that you leave comments like these. It helps me so much to know that I'm not completely insane. Thanks so much for the prayers. I truly only want the best for my girl. :)

Unknown said...

I'll just say that I have always had a problem with the "because you didn't have enough faith" thing. Honestly...it just angers me.

I too am glad that she has you to lean on, and that she loves and trusts you enough to actually lean! Love her, support her and love her some more. Sometimes that is all we can do.
It IS in God's hands..and God works through many things and people. He works through you, Brian, to bring comfort to a scared kid, a scared mom and a family in search of a rock. He works through docotrs and through ministers, and maybe even through her "dad". Maybe this is the thing that will teach her that, though some people mean well, they have it wrong. And, hey, maybe he's working through us (your friends and most especially you family) to give a little strength to the rock... :-)
Praying for you and your whole family...and trusting ( harder than it sounds) that this will all turn out well.

Lauren T. Hart said...

So... he's willing to take the credit but not the blame. He's not a healer. Those who take both the credit and the blame are called doctors. I've been to some really great and some really not great 'healers' in my time. Some of them had medical degrees - most of them were just good people. The best ones - the ones where I was actually healed from whatever - never tried to take credit. They were a vessel, they were a tool and they were faith builders and hope givers full of love and compassion for others.

This guy doesn't heal people so don't call him a healer. (Real healers seldom refer to themselves as such.) He's a beliefer (not a typo).

Belief can heal - an individuals belief. But when conditions are put upon belief it loses it effectiveness because its been tainted. Especially when God and faith via a 'middleman' become involved. It creates too many variables - too many doubts and intelligent people - people who are well versed in questioning things and thinking for themselves are unlikely to change their nature and surrender their intelligence to someone willing to take the credit but not the responsibility.

Don't let one 'beliefer' ruin things for you. Bless his heart, I'm sure he means well, even if he is a little - or a lot - misguided.

It's been said, but I'll say it again. You are a phenomenal guy Brian! You and Anna Marie are good people and wonderful parents. Much love to you and your family! You, your daughter and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Charli Girl said...

Brian, you know what I've been through with the loss of my two sons, and with Jaxtyn's fight to survive. If I for one SECOND believed that God did not bless man with the skills required for healing, I never would have bothered letting my sons be poked & prodded on day and night to try and save their lives.

I have spent COUNTLESS hours on my knees in the NICU praying for a miracle. Praying for God to grant me the joy of seeing my sons live, grow and become whom ever He intended. For God Himself to whisper His sweet breath into their lungs and lay His almighty hands on their fragile bodies and heal them from within, as He is the ultimate physician.

BUT I also prayed for Him to bless those whose hands I had placed their delicate lives into! I prayed for a steady hand of the surgeon. I prayed for the next xray to be improved from the last. I prayed for Him to awaken His devine wisdom in the minds and judgement of the dr's to know the EXACT next steps to take to bring about greater health.

I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE when you say that God gives us what we need to take care of ourselves, because if it came all too easily we would not turn to Him in our hour of need! Does one know true joy if we have never experienced pain? Does one who has no idea what it's like to go without ever truly appreciate what's right in front of them? Probably not- not in the way they would had they not experienced the bad along side the good.

What Josee is facing may be GOD's way of molding her into whom HE sees fit for HIS works! Does that mean that God is the one MAKING her suffer through this? No. But He has a purpose for ALL THINGS. He takes the bad and turns it into something good. It is her personal journey to find a way to see what God might be preparing her for later in life. She need only have faith that He has a reason for everything God allows us to endure.

Could she one day become a physical therapist who can TRULY relate to her patients? Possibly. Could she one day start a support group for teens with scoliosis? Maybe. Who knows- she might even go into fashion and use those skills to "beautify" the braces some kids are required to wear so they don't feel so embarassed by them! Who knows where this will take her- ONLY GOD!

One thing for certain- she WILL come out a stronger individual in many ways because of what she will have gone through. And NO ONE will be able to take that way from her! NO ONE!

As always she is in my thoughts & prayers, as are all of you!

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