Sunday, May 16, 2010

I think I can.

I think I can.

So, I have moved to Utah, picked up work, and am working on getting my family up here with me. You know the story, so I'm not going to shovel any more onto your sandwich. It's tough. It's weird. My bed is empty... but in the long run, it's all going to be fine.

I think I can.

So, Ghostology is being run via SKYPE. A great tool. I get to hang with my girl via SKYPE... see her, talk to her, laugh with her... and cry with her. But it's also great for our business. Ghostology can still be heard and seen and we still have a good time. The video is sans Anna Marie right now, but its all going to work itself out.

I think I can.

We have several businesses besides our Ghostology Radio show. Some people know what we do, and some people do not. Let's just say, that it's the kind of business that actually pays the bills, and we enjoy what we do. It's all entertainment. Lately we have been working on a lot of really great projects and are excited about the prospects of seeing how these come to fruition. It's fun and we have a passion for it. I've got a business model in place that I think is going to just totally rawk... but its going to take a lot of work and a lot of work that is going to be difficult for me to do without my Anna Marie. She is so much of what I do and keeps my head in the right place when working.

I think I can.

I miss my kids. I miss my kids. I miss my kids. *sigh*

I think I can.

I am thankful for all of you for showing your support, for helping us move, for helping us pack, for helping us get situated, for showing us love, for loving us, for loving our family, and for loving our hearts. I think you so much that it makes my eyes tear up. I mean that.

I think I can.

I think I can.

I know I can.

I know I can.

I know.

I know.

I will.

RAWK!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Family is My Phoenix

It's 7:50 Dark Sun Studios time here in Utah. I'm sitting at Denver's desk, looking up at the Rockies, and slowly combing over the events that have taken place over the past two months. I'm actually not even sure how this blog is going to read when I am done. Normally when I write, I have a point or a direction. Not this morning though. This morning, I'm just opening my heart and letting it bleed out.

My daughter Josee had her spinal operation that corrected 90% of her curvature about two months ago. She is back in school today, and very VERY happy about the outcome of the surgery. She doesn't hurt anymore. :)

I thought I had made a connection with their father, Dan, while I was at the hospital. We spoke about being able to work together and how communication was the key to making this extended family work better. I thought it made sense, and I thought we had come to an understanding that everything we do from now on is in the best interest of the kids.

I thought.

In the beginning, we worked the decree where the kids could not be split up and that they would always stay together, by writing into the court orders that they remain in the Lockhart ISD School System. For 5 years that has served its purpose. There were several threats made of the boys being taken from their sisters, and that court order put a stop to that quickly.

Dan, myself and Anna Marie stood in the driveway about 5 weeks ago and discussed the possibility of us moving to Utah. He only sees them for a day and a half a month as it is, but instead of moving the kids away from him completely, we all agreed that the kids staying with him for summers and extended holidays would not only give him more time with the kids, but would work out better for everyone. He even gave us his word that we "would work this out" and said "let me know what happens when you get back from your interviews in Utah."

All of what he said was a lie.

When I got back and had work, (there is NO film work for me in Texas and that is what my BFA is in) he told us on the phone that he NEVER said that he would work with us, as a matter of fact, he said he believed it in the best interest of the kids for them to stay in Lockhart (a dying city with no work, bad schools and gangs).

In the midst of having a daughter who is healing from back surgery, an 18 year old who is getting ready for college next year, two teens that need a better school in a city that offers them more than just driving around a Dairy Queen for kicks, and a baby who needs to be in a healthy environment with family values, we were forced to move out of our house and find another place to live. It isn't easy finding a place in Lockhart. We found a hotel that would accommodate all of us while we searched for a place to live.... and as you may already know, the Plum Creek Inn in Lockhart turned out my entire family onto the streets the day we were supposed to check in. We had reservations for over a week and because we mentioned the word 'cats' we were turned out into the streets of Lockhart. We didn't yell. We didn't swear. We said we had a place for our cats to stay, and they called us liars and said we needed to speak to a manager. The person that told us this was the OWNER himself. I went back in to try and reason with him, and he told me it was too late, we already said 'cats' and that it was impossible for us to stay there.

The Plum Creek Inn is the way we will remember Lockhart Texas. Thank you for being so caring and for showing us your true colors. We were discriminated against. Because we were white? Maybe. Because we had kids? Maybe. Because we said we owned cats? Maybe. ... but on their sites it says they are a 'pet friendly' hotel. I think we know who the liars are.

Needless to say...

My wife and kids are now in a duplex closer to the Freshman campus. I am in Utah working making money to pay for this and quite possibly more.

What is to come of the court orders? Only time will tell. If the man that fathered the kids that I love so much really cared about them. He would have put in the papers that he would see them more than one weekend a month as well as would see who they were as growing people and what they need in their lives. They do NOT need gangs and a ghost town to call home. They need family values, parks, theater, and film studios in their lives. They are creative kids that want to be successful. If he really knew what was in their best interest he would show them what not only gave him MORE quality time with them but would allow them to grow into the amazing people they are. He would show them that he is a man of his word and not a liar. He says he is a man who is a healer for Jesus? What would Jesus do? No. Really. What would Jesus do?

So, I will work from Utah to support my family and pay to have the orders changes so that MY kids can have the resources at their fingertips to be the people that God intended them to be. I love it here. They will love it here. And... there is work here in my field. That is why my parents spent all of that money on my degree... so that I could work in America in a genre of my choice and prosper by taking care of my family and giving back to this country the fruits of my labor.

Ive got so much to do this month, and I need it all to happen while my heart aches as I am away from my beautiful wife and kids. I love all 6 of them with ALL I have in my heart and body and it hurts not to have them near me.... but I am doing this for the kids. They need someone to step up to the plate, and I'll be that man for them. I will take care of them. They need to fly.

They need to rise from the ashes and burst into flames of colors that haven't even been invented yet!

My family is my phoenix.

RAWK!