Pulling Down Walls

I don't wear a watch because I don't want to be told what to do. Really. Thats why I stopped wearing one. If I honestly believed that TIME might actually hold healing properties, I might have kept that Casio Calculator Watch I used to wear back in the 4th grade.

Sadly, I think time might actually be the culprit in infecting a wound. I don't have a lot of proof for this, but I do have a team of researchers working on this around the clock. I'll let you know as soon as they publish their findings.

/cryptic

So, it's been 6 weeks since I have seen my wife and kids. It kills me. This is just something I must deal with while we work our plan to re-unite. I have been taken in by my new family. I am a brother. I am an Uncle. I am loved as I love them. I could not be more blessed than I am today.

But... still...

I am struggling with a few friendships that I seem to have lost. I'm always gaining new friendships, which is always a very amazing thing. Each friend wanting to know more about me and me about them. The friends that stick with me are the ones that do not judge me. The ones that accept me for who I am, what I do, and where I want to be. I also accept them, love them, and support them for who they are and where they want to go with their lives.

Is it ever too late to fix a friendship? I hope not. There are a few that I plan on trying to mend over time. The new question has become not if 'I' want these friendships to be fixed, but if 'THEY' want these friendships fixed. I mean, if I am not worth it to them, then why should I even try? I've left it up to time for the past year, but for some reason, time hasn't done anything other than cause more problems. Another question is 'why am I the one that makes the attempts in fixing things always?' I mean, why is it always 'my' job to fix things? Maybe because 'THEY' don't want things fixed. I guess I can live with that. If I only knew what truly caused some of these disasters, I would have found a way to avoid them from happening. But that is neither here nor there.

What I do know is that I miss a couple of people that I used to be close with. That I still care about. That I still wish good things for. That I still love. I miss them.

I hope that the walls that have been built between us are not solid. That they were created by miscommunications, misunderstandings, and misguided letters, words, and phrases. If the ill will that has been presented is intentional, then I will have to just live with that.

But if these walls are real.

I can only pray they are made from paper.

- RAWK